mother, father—what is sex?

Sex is mysterious, doubly so for children. We teach our children to read, we teach them to write. We answer their many, many questions about how the world works; however, when it comes to sex, we leave our children in the dark. Questions go unanswered, ultimately leading to an increased curiosity and yearning to reveal the puzzling nature of sex. It is this lack of knowledge that our youngsters are left with regarding sex that causes an infatuation with it. If we were to refuse to answer questions youths have about trains, they would become increasingly fascinated with trains. This is the nature of curiosity. For sex this phenomenon is even more pronounced, because while trains are quite boring, sex is nothing short of intriguing.

There is absolutely no excuse for deceiving children, no matter the topic. We must answer their questions regarding sex openly and honestly. There is no need for any sort of peculiar overtone when speaking with a child about these matters. Speak frankly and thoroughly. A child has not yet been exposed to the notion that sex is somehow “off limits.” If we explain the purpose of the penis and the vagina, as we explain the purpose of books and calculators, neither will be more mysterious than the other. A healthy sex life will arise out of children with this type of clear understanding.

Furthermore, once we begin lying to our youths about sex, they lose faith in our informative reliability on the whole. We must not mislead them about one topic, lest we lose their confidence on a host of other topics as well. They will begin to go elsewhere for information regarding sex or whatever else, in order to satisfy their fascination with issues that are left unexplained.

We should also not deceive our children into believing that monogamous relationships are the only ones that exist. There should be no stories about everyone remaining virgins until their marriage night. These are nothing more than fairy tales on the whole. People are often polygamous and often sexually active outside of marriage. These are trivial truths that need not be hidden. Once again, deception can only lead to distrust and mystification.

Knowledge leads to increased understanding and comfort. Misinformation leads to confusion and a frantic search for a new source of knowledge. Why create this latter situation? I am convinced that the only reason we would mislead our youths about the issue of sex is due to our own immaturity. We are uncomfortable talking about sex despite the alleged maturity adults are supposed to magically acquire by the age of thirty. Children are not uncomfortable when talking about sex—they have not yet sunk to that immaturity level. Let us not allow them to sink that low, and let us satisfy their thirst for knowledge on all subjects.